If you don't mind, it doesn't matter

So as one insomniac to another that tosses and turns and is wide awake at 2a.m like clockwork, a one Under8ted advised me to practice mind over matter techniques. Basically this concept frees oneself from material ideologies and beliefs shaped by either our experiences or societal expectations. An example of this would be a woman having to be married by 30, success being measured by the amount of wealth amassed or conservative/ religious beliefs that you should not have a child out of wedlock. For the latter i am all for "to each his own...your womb your choice"
I realize that i spend a lot of time trying to catch up with my very fast paced mind and even when i am supposed to be asleep i am subconsciously drawing up budgets or rehearsing a pitch and wake up as exhausted as one that has been exercising. If only this came with the same results.Because of all this and a combination of things i constantly have stress migraines so if i have tried everything else from meds to putting myself to sleep(term used very loosely) why not try some of these techniques
I read up on them and yoga, breathing exercises all made the list but i choose to go with adjusting my thought process, living with no limitations, not over-thinking things and this brings me back to "if you don't mind it doesn't matter"

The mind is a powerful tool that will wheel your fears into existance. Doubt starts as a mere thought that is inflated into insecurity, self consciousness and mistrust. Why i ask wud i choose to give anyone or anything that satisfaction?

One of my mantras used to be "why worry when you can pray about it and if you pray about it , why worry". Might sound too simplistic but if its what i need to sleep at night, literally, then i say lets do this

A wise young man said to me not too long ago "its a conscious decision we make to love someone, to wake up every morning and decide to love that day." if he read this he would gloat endlessly to this admission. A part of me wants to put this to the test. My typical morning starts with me grudgingly getting out of bed but quickly pulling myself outta it and thanking God for the day that He has made that i will rejoice in. This i do everyday and the rest of the day flies by many times without the rejoicing i promise to do

i feel like i'm stuck in a rant, a continuous spell of monotony that i need to break and this i keep promising myself to do every single day but....

This blog post today is a form of release. I woke up happy and it slowly faded. My road rage quickly shifted from 10 to 100 in seconds but i am making a conscious decision to have a good day, to let things that would ordinarily ruffle my feathers slide and to fight off any stress induced migraines...do i hear an amen?

Rugaju you would be proud

Today i make a conscious decision to celebrate life, to take a minute and breathe, to appreciate those that have one way or another
made a difference in my life, have made me smile, have wiped my tears when i cry or merely been that silent being besides me when
calm is all that i require. I also thank those that have shown me the other side to life , that have been my realization of the mere
mortal that i am. Those that have brought me pain and helped me shed my naivety. Today i celebrate life and those that make mine
meaningful

LOGIC DEFYING PHENOMENON

From time in memorial human beings have tried to crack the code, the key to understanding the undeniable differences between the male and female species but all efforts have been rendered futile. In comes the self proclaimed relationship experts turned best selling authors, i cant help but chuckle. It always gets me thinking,these that we call experts, have they cracked this code, have they seen whats behind door 1,2,3..... and if so does it translate directly into their lives? Do they have all this figured out? the cynic in me says "definitely not". Just another ploy to capitalize on peoples vulnerabilities and dish out advice that they know people want to hear. The irony however is the fact (or subjective observation) that its the women more than their male counterparts that are tirelessly trying to understand men and how they operate and have turned these self help books into manuals of sorts that possess biblical truth. The men on the other hand seem to have made peace with the seeming reality that women are a complex piece of art and that you take them as they come. The different shades of the rainbow have nothing on them. They blow hot and cold blue yellow and red. I refuse to say we because to say so is to admit to this fallacy. I came across one of these "best sellers" and the author had a certain humor and biting "matter of fact" approach that kept me glued. Towards the end of the book was a Q n A segment where women from across the world were bearing their souls wondering why their men are not ready to settle or whether men when married prefer new sex to sex with their marital partners(quoting verbatim) and one asked why this guy she was seeing suddenly stopped calling and texting. The one thing i found interesting was the authors response to the latter. He said wen it comes to men once they are done they are done. Unlike women who need closure men move on. He clarified that we women shoudn't assume that they don't hurt cos they indeed do but that once they are done they heal by moving on to someone else. Kinda validates the theory that the fastest way to get over someone is to get under another. So i pause a question, should we continue to pursue this unending quest to decode human behavior or simply admit that women and men are wired differently, take it as it comes and live in a bubble .Disclaimer right here: I don't consider myself complex but a work in progress and how then will you try to read me as a complete piece...do tell

RIP OLAVI NDAWULA HAFIZ

There couldn't have been a more befitting tribute, As posted by Leonna Buhenzire Reflections on death Earlier on last week I buried a friend, & his death has got me lost in poignant thought. As I stared at his parents and how broken they were.... I thought to myself ... "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me, may I never have to endure the pain of burying my own child" I couldn't believe how tragic the situation was . I've always heard stories like these, but they're far between and never this close to home. Reality had to set in. See, When people of your age group start to die, You're forced to think about the quality of life You're living. What a blessing it is to be alive. If we recognized how truly blessed we are to be alive, surely we would put our lives to better use. There is so much hope & possibility in life, which we can't say for death, there's no hope in death, unless you're Jesus Christ, my savior. Humanely Death is empty & cold & void of anything . It's a hollow dark tunnel. It's an end. It's a shut down!! You will never be able to sniff your favorite coffee, to taste your favorite dish, you will never be able to express yourself to the people u care about, you'll never be able to take a nap, to drive , to watch a movie, to laugh and chat with old friends.. It's final. Although it's so damn scary, death is not the enemy.. Death is a part of us. As long as you're born, you will die. We can't escape death. The real enemy is how we choose to live our lives. One thing I know I must sooner or later embrace is impermanence . The fact that, in this here life, NOTHING lasts forever. However unbelievably breathtaking it is, or terrifying it is. Sure as eggs are eggs,It will pass. Time is never static , Time is always moving & nothing can stop it. How are we utilizing our time? Are we taking care of ourselves? What sends your heart soaring?? Are we positively impacting others ? Or are we trapped in our own little bubbles of life? Have you positively affected someone's life today or are u busy wallowing in self pity? Have you checked on your parents? Or are you too busy growing up that u haven't noticed how old they've grown? Are you actively involved in their well being? They need you. They don't have the same energy they had as they chauffeured you back & forth from school, and sadly, you won't get to have them forever. Are you really making time for your children? Do you have time to read a bedtime story? Have u explored their gifts? Do you have a day, an hour set aside to their needs, do you have the patience to listen to them and not be tired by how slow & repetitive their conversations are. Do you know what they love and what they're afraid of? Are u raising your children or is your Househelp & the school doing that work for you? Do u know the person who lives next door to you? Baking for them a pie is not exclusive to bazungu. It's a wonderful gesture that sets us apart from animals. When was the last time you did something nice for someone, for no good reason? But only to add value to their lives. How about your friends? Do u think you're a great friend? Have u been a great friend? How have u impacted your closest friends lives? What is so remarkable about you as a wife/ a husband/ a daughter /a son/ a mom ,/ a friend /a dad?? That when you're gone, people will sigh in admiration. Are u a master at the blame game, at defensiveness. It's never your fault. Do you deserve the people who truly care about you? Are u taker? Or a giver? How have u impacted their lives? ...They are not here forever. Life.... Is but a dream. Are u that person that shows up at work, already exhausted at the thought of 5 days at the same desk, never socialize with anyone, spend all day condescending & outsmarting people until u exit. You don't know anything personal about the people you work with... People that You spend more time with than u spend with your own family. Are you adding value at your workplace? I challenge you. I challenge you to buy lunch for that employee in the corner that is see through. There's nothing remarkable about them, they're not particularly smart, or fashionable, or funny.. They blend in with the furniture. You always ignore them because you're too busy sky rocketing through the corporate ladders to notice nobody's. If you dare to look for that remarkable something in anyone, you'll find it. .. But I challenge you to send out your office messenger & order for them takeaway & juice. Something nice. In the end , we only regret the chances we didn't take. You cannot impact anything when you're gone, all that is left is lingering memories amongst your loved ones of who you were. But you can impact so much right now!! SO MUCH. I challenge you to write down in your notes one little thing that you could do differently , that will add value to another persons life. Let's get off our butts and live meaningful lives people. I challenge you to stop living a passive , all-caution-to-the-wind, life. God has blessed you with the gift of LIFE. With a very heavy heart, I offer my deepest condolences to Olavis family & friends. I believe Olavi Hafiz lived a full life, and even if it seems to have ended prematurely. ..May you find comfort in the fact that you have gained an angel in heaven. RIP.

CLOUDY RAYS

True definition of the series of events. I am certain it was a sunday like any other and you were your chirpy self out to have fun with friends. Little did you know what fate had in store for you and neither did the rest of the world. Today my heart is ripped apart by the pain of uncertainty surrounding your life and whereabouts. Many have lost all hope and the dailies have pronounced you dead. Call it blind faith or denial but i keep hope alive and raise that candle even higher. Embodiment of wealth meeting class with the humility of a saint and a heart for everyone that crossed yo path. OLAVI MATOVU WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU AND WILL NOT STOP