LOGIC DEFYING PHENOMENON

From time in memorial human beings have tried to crack the code, the key to understanding the undeniable differences between the male and female species but all efforts have been rendered futile. In comes the self proclaimed relationship experts turned best selling authors, i cant help but chuckle. It always gets me thinking,these that we call experts, have they cracked this code, have they seen whats behind door 1,2,3..... and if so does it translate directly into their lives? Do they have all this figured out? the cynic in me says "definitely not". Just another ploy to capitalize on peoples vulnerabilities and dish out advice that they know people want to hear. The irony however is the fact (or subjective observation) that its the women more than their male counterparts that are tirelessly trying to understand men and how they operate and have turned these self help books into manuals of sorts that possess biblical truth. The men on the other hand seem to have made peace with the seeming reality that women are a complex piece of art and that you take them as they come. The different shades of the rainbow have nothing on them. They blow hot and cold blue yellow and red. I refuse to say we because to say so is to admit to this fallacy. I came across one of these "best sellers" and the author had a certain humor and biting "matter of fact" approach that kept me glued. Towards the end of the book was a Q n A segment where women from across the world were bearing their souls wondering why their men are not ready to settle or whether men when married prefer new sex to sex with their marital partners(quoting verbatim) and one asked why this guy she was seeing suddenly stopped calling and texting. The one thing i found interesting was the authors response to the latter. He said wen it comes to men once they are done they are done. Unlike women who need closure men move on. He clarified that we women shoudn't assume that they don't hurt cos they indeed do but that once they are done they heal by moving on to someone else. Kinda validates the theory that the fastest way to get over someone is to get under another. So i pause a question, should we continue to pursue this unending quest to decode human behavior or simply admit that women and men are wired differently, take it as it comes and live in a bubble .Disclaimer right here: I don't consider myself complex but a work in progress and how then will you try to read me as a complete piece...do tell

RIP OLAVI NDAWULA HAFIZ

There couldn't have been a more befitting tribute, As posted by Leonna Buhenzire Reflections on death Earlier on last week I buried a friend, & his death has got me lost in poignant thought. As I stared at his parents and how broken they were.... I thought to myself ... "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me, may I never have to endure the pain of burying my own child" I couldn't believe how tragic the situation was . I've always heard stories like these, but they're far between and never this close to home. Reality had to set in. See, When people of your age group start to die, You're forced to think about the quality of life You're living. What a blessing it is to be alive. If we recognized how truly blessed we are to be alive, surely we would put our lives to better use. There is so much hope & possibility in life, which we can't say for death, there's no hope in death, unless you're Jesus Christ, my savior. Humanely Death is empty & cold & void of anything . It's a hollow dark tunnel. It's an end. It's a shut down!! You will never be able to sniff your favorite coffee, to taste your favorite dish, you will never be able to express yourself to the people u care about, you'll never be able to take a nap, to drive , to watch a movie, to laugh and chat with old friends.. It's final. Although it's so damn scary, death is not the enemy.. Death is a part of us. As long as you're born, you will die. We can't escape death. The real enemy is how we choose to live our lives. One thing I know I must sooner or later embrace is impermanence . The fact that, in this here life, NOTHING lasts forever. However unbelievably breathtaking it is, or terrifying it is. Sure as eggs are eggs,It will pass. Time is never static , Time is always moving & nothing can stop it. How are we utilizing our time? Are we taking care of ourselves? What sends your heart soaring?? Are we positively impacting others ? Or are we trapped in our own little bubbles of life? Have you positively affected someone's life today or are u busy wallowing in self pity? Have you checked on your parents? Or are you too busy growing up that u haven't noticed how old they've grown? Are you actively involved in their well being? They need you. They don't have the same energy they had as they chauffeured you back & forth from school, and sadly, you won't get to have them forever. Are you really making time for your children? Do you have time to read a bedtime story? Have u explored their gifts? Do you have a day, an hour set aside to their needs, do you have the patience to listen to them and not be tired by how slow & repetitive their conversations are. Do you know what they love and what they're afraid of? Are u raising your children or is your Househelp & the school doing that work for you? Do u know the person who lives next door to you? Baking for them a pie is not exclusive to bazungu. It's a wonderful gesture that sets us apart from animals. When was the last time you did something nice for someone, for no good reason? But only to add value to their lives. How about your friends? Do u think you're a great friend? Have u been a great friend? How have u impacted your closest friends lives? What is so remarkable about you as a wife/ a husband/ a daughter /a son/ a mom ,/ a friend /a dad?? That when you're gone, people will sigh in admiration. Are u a master at the blame game, at defensiveness. It's never your fault. Do you deserve the people who truly care about you? Are u taker? Or a giver? How have u impacted their lives? ...They are not here forever. Life.... Is but a dream. Are u that person that shows up at work, already exhausted at the thought of 5 days at the same desk, never socialize with anyone, spend all day condescending & outsmarting people until u exit. You don't know anything personal about the people you work with... People that You spend more time with than u spend with your own family. Are you adding value at your workplace? I challenge you. I challenge you to buy lunch for that employee in the corner that is see through. There's nothing remarkable about them, they're not particularly smart, or fashionable, or funny.. They blend in with the furniture. You always ignore them because you're too busy sky rocketing through the corporate ladders to notice nobody's. If you dare to look for that remarkable something in anyone, you'll find it. .. But I challenge you to send out your office messenger & order for them takeaway & juice. Something nice. In the end , we only regret the chances we didn't take. You cannot impact anything when you're gone, all that is left is lingering memories amongst your loved ones of who you were. But you can impact so much right now!! SO MUCH. I challenge you to write down in your notes one little thing that you could do differently , that will add value to another persons life. Let's get off our butts and live meaningful lives people. I challenge you to stop living a passive , all-caution-to-the-wind, life. God has blessed you with the gift of LIFE. With a very heavy heart, I offer my deepest condolences to Olavis family & friends. I believe Olavi Hafiz lived a full life, and even if it seems to have ended prematurely. ..May you find comfort in the fact that you have gained an angel in heaven. RIP.

CLOUDY RAYS

True definition of the series of events. I am certain it was a sunday like any other and you were your chirpy self out to have fun with friends. Little did you know what fate had in store for you and neither did the rest of the world. Today my heart is ripped apart by the pain of uncertainty surrounding your life and whereabouts. Many have lost all hope and the dailies have pronounced you dead. Call it blind faith or denial but i keep hope alive and raise that candle even higher. Embodiment of wealth meeting class with the humility of a saint and a heart for everyone that crossed yo path. OLAVI MATOVU WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU AND WILL NOT STOP

Of Humanity and its flaws

One thing that has continously eluded my understanding is the standards by which our actions are judged which is usually done in accordance with our sex...... i know that the world we live is predominantly chauvinistic but y shud i pay for over grown egos that are probably making up for deficiencies in other areas of one's life that seek fulfilment or constant watering by flattery and undeserved praise! Sorry this's a bad day so let a woman vent. All this has been fueled by a number of circumstances

..... Found this among my drafts. i wonder what i was going on about

The evening that was.......

Things are different yet the seem keeps playing in my mind. My body is exhausted from a weekend that was merely an extension of my week. So as the week wound down i was coerced by my colleagues to go out for a couple of drinks which i agreed to but never again at least not in the near future. The day ended on a high and being a Thursday my workmates were excited about happy hour. Earlier on in the day i had been invited to go watch a band play and that i turned down to give this other plan a chance. We get to the bar and drinks are being ordered in multiples, the music is good and i am being teased for dancing on my seat. bite me. A couple of hours later everyone is talking over everyone else , the dancing is far from PG then shit hits the fan. seated behind us is a couple of gals that we found in the bar already intoxicated. As the evening proceeds they seem to be getting aggressive and falling all over the easily excitable 20 something year olds m in the company of. These had become easy prey a chance they weren't going to let slide. At some point one of the girls, far from light weight tries to pick a fight a fight with Barbara my colleague who immediately assumed "bitch bring it on" mode. The not so small instigator knew wen to back down and so she did. It always sucks to be the only sober one in a team and i was tempted to break my cleanse even after going strong for 3 months. yeeiiii me. An hour later Michael my colleague gets into it with the not so light weight chic. By this time i had concluded that this chic just needed an outlet for whatever issues she was dealing with. I always tell chics that they watch too many movies. Pouring drinks on a guy and expecting him to be a gentleman and maintain his composure doesn't fly with Ugandan men. A drunk one at that. I intercepted this fight right before Michael swung a punch at this chic with no reservation. Hitting a chic can never be justified but this chic was pushing it. In retrospect who did i think i was? Had a bottle been thrown at me then what? Michael is of a small frame but it took 4 of us to hold him back while reminding him that it wasn't worth being thrown into jail for.By that point i was ready to call it a night. I have never been able to understand why people cannot leave beer in a glass. Is it mandatory not to walk away from a half empty glass? i don't get it and i didn't stay behind to find out. Time check 11:25 pm i threw my deuces and was outta there. To think that the band i ditched totally rocked and pulled my kinda crowd.

CHAPTER 1

So i get this call asking whether its alright with me if my number were passed on for a project that the caller believed to be a perfect fit for me. I grudgingly accept knowing full well that this was so unlike him. Extremely private and calm and never one to over extend himself you can relate to my shock. it was two years later and he still kept his word that he would let me know if ever he heard of an opportunity that matched my skill set. A month and many 11 hr days later i have grown to love the team i manage. Feels like i never left. To summarize this jiberish, cheers to new beginnings and here is to a very adventurous six months