Dear Reich,
Its been 2 days and the shock seems to be growing instead of wearing off. I keep getting small but painful flashbacks.u were a beautiful woman inside and out and my heart only goes out to Uthman because i cannot begin to imagine his pain . wish i knew more abt him but unfortunately i dont........."never love a man more than he loves you..." thats the one statement i will forever remember you by my tree stamped friend.....
I need closure but i do not know how i will get it this time....
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
FAREWELL TO THEE....MY "MUHIMA"
Cannot explain the pain i feel right now and the shock i have failed to shake off. cant believe this is it and i kept hoping against hope that we would get to bid you farewell the only way known to us but because of religious differences the pending farewells still linger. You made such a beautiful bride and sad that i got to see the pic after you passed... .my heart is breaking
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Bright and Early
As i once said i am an annoyingly morning person.......and today was jus one of those mornings. I recite a string of prayers on my way to work every single day as i wait for the inspirational song that plays on power f.m at abt 7.30 a.m and somehow it always ministers to my soul. I once heard that you can command your spirit especially wen yo low or down n out so that is sth that i am practising....on those mornings that r not one of "those " mornings.....
Nursing an unfunny cold but i am sure i will be ok hopefully sooner than later
Nursing an unfunny cold but i am sure i will be ok hopefully sooner than later
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Hullllllllllllllllllllllllllo
Feels like i found my way home after a very long search. been thru and still am going thru a long phase of self rediscovery. Deactivated my facebook page and feel some sort of relief...even after my workmate spared no time in telling me how i wont be missed,any who,thats where m at.
Question,garfeildzug, why r u so mysterious, like a book that gives u no clues but yet requires u to follow the chronological format to crack the case??....Do tell
Question,garfeildzug, why r u so mysterious, like a book that gives u no clues but yet requires u to follow the chronological format to crack the case??....Do tell
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Dazed....numb to the bone
Never would i have considered myself to have the balls i discovered myself to posess. Someone once told me that we get ourselves into situations then question God for the pain we are forced to endure yet all this while we do not engage him in our plans.
Not so long ago i was struck by a numbing hard hitting revelation that shook me to the very core of my being. I do serve a mighty God cos i can bring myself to smile right now and breathe. That sounds abit hyperbolic but believe me its possible to lose breath yet not chlostrophobic. What happens wen someone u thought u knew turns out to be a total stranger.....sounds like a bad high school movie thats still deciding whether it lies in the Thriller or horror genre
Cant bring myself to write jus yet so garfieldzug,dont give up on this page just yet
Not so long ago i was struck by a numbing hard hitting revelation that shook me to the very core of my being. I do serve a mighty God cos i can bring myself to smile right now and breathe. That sounds abit hyperbolic but believe me its possible to lose breath yet not chlostrophobic. What happens wen someone u thought u knew turns out to be a total stranger.....sounds like a bad high school movie thats still deciding whether it lies in the Thriller or horror genre
Cant bring myself to write jus yet so garfieldzug,dont give up on this page just yet
Friday, April 3, 2009
Me UnpluGgeD
Much as i am not as loyal as i would want to be to blogger i find solace in it and a certain feeling of safety free of judgement maybe because i feel incognito. Was on facebook reading a friend's profile as he shared 25 things about himself. Wanted to try it out cos it got me thinking but thought twice cos that was too much info for close to 400 people half of whom were literal strangers but ended up on my friends' list as a sister, cousin, friend to someone else i knew...a move m yet to set right. Anyway here i feel i can give it a shot so here goes;
1. After God my family is my life. They are my strength and my weakness. Not short of flaws but then again who is. With God, i owe my life, a relationship i feel is strained the only part that i need to complete this puzzle.
2. Don't live a life of regret, or atleast i try not to. See no point only a route to depression. Used to see my glass half full but it seemed to have cracked n m trying to get it fixed.
3. I love to laugh, a hearty laugh that has been described as many things, all not in my favor tho. It makes me feel alive and full of life. Sad to say i don't remember the feeling.
4. Terrible at keeping in touch but wud consider myself a loyal friend. Wud go that extra mile to bail a friend outta a tight spot or atleast thats wat i believe. M i wrong to hope for the same.
5. My potential is more than often underestimated and before long the rug is pulled from under their feet and m always thre to smile. Does that make me a saddist.....i hope so.
6. Once loved wit my whole being then was bitch slapped by reality and had to put brakes on it. Still afraid to take that leap
7. Always guarded my reputation wit my whole bein which made me live by so many self imposed rules and it was only the last 6 months of the previous year that i dared to throw caution to the wind, jump without that rope on my feet, see anotha side to life.....let the inner me that in bondage loose and i loved it!! Every bit of it tho it came to a screeching halt and i had to snap back to reality.
8. I love to dance. Don't do it as often as i would want to but wen i do i do.
9.Music stole my soul. Its not as deep as i make it sound but its seen me thru so much cos there's a song to describe wateve emotion it is u feel its jus up to u to find it. I listen to alot of soft rock the likes of lifehouse, keane, travis, old coldplay, goo goo dolls... tho of late my playlist has been deemed depressin bordering on suicidal but then again we all have opinions right??
10.I donot like bright places especially at night, nothin shady maybe its jus an eye defect...tihihi
11.Lord help me reach 25...... I am a sucker for scents, be it colognes, perfumes shower gels.....sucker sucker sucker.
12. I am a woman that loves her food yet all that seems to expand on me atleast of late are my ear lobes i wonder y...... i am a curious eater not in terms of new food but eatin places. I can spend the last shilling on me on good food.....especially wen m low.
13. Always looking for new ways to make money cos poverty n i r not goin down without a fight.
14. I am the biggest impulsive buyer i know which doesn't translate into splashin vulgar amounts of money cos i am a smooth bargain shopper if i say so myself.....bargain to a point of receivin an extra item jus for u to go away or stop talkin.
15.There is not a single sport i engage in tho wish i could change that....oh said no regretrs. Is it too late to become a pro baller???
16. I talk in my sleep and as i have been told it can be a lengthy conversation that at times sounds like a lecture tho one time i was asking for some chic's account number.....strange!!!
17. I hate for people to see my weaknesses maybe thats why i fight back tears like m fighting a tax increase
18. i look at eveyone as a walking story, a door to a new experience, an entry into a world not yours on condition that they open that door wen u knock. Explains why i love to meet new people or why i find rides in taxis so interesting
19. I donot like weddings and parties and the only part that gets me to go is the excuse to dress up, that part i like.
20. I cannot sing to save my life tho m still convinced there's talent deep down somewhere tho it s provin to be deeper than i thought
21. My biggest phobia is the dentist's chair.....cant explain any further.
22. I am painfully a morning person it can be annoying. I hate wednesdays tho cos i find it such an undecided day
23.I am addicted to my phone one wud think i am havin an affair wit it. That said wudn't advise anyone to beep cos its always in my palm
24.I neva picture my wedding day. I always want to wake up married unlike some friends of mine who already have it down to the last detail. Wish it didn't have to be such a hustle and cud be small and intimate but thats a trick wen yo related to like half the country by virtue of the fact that even yo grand parents neighbours came to be known as uncles and their kids as cousins.
25.Finally! I love to sew. i do it wen m happy, sad, bored, confused....i simply love to sew. For those that know me it wud seem so unlike me but then again i already said m often misread
1. After God my family is my life. They are my strength and my weakness. Not short of flaws but then again who is. With God, i owe my life, a relationship i feel is strained the only part that i need to complete this puzzle.
2. Don't live a life of regret, or atleast i try not to. See no point only a route to depression. Used to see my glass half full but it seemed to have cracked n m trying to get it fixed.
3. I love to laugh, a hearty laugh that has been described as many things, all not in my favor tho. It makes me feel alive and full of life. Sad to say i don't remember the feeling.
4. Terrible at keeping in touch but wud consider myself a loyal friend. Wud go that extra mile to bail a friend outta a tight spot or atleast thats wat i believe. M i wrong to hope for the same.
5. My potential is more than often underestimated and before long the rug is pulled from under their feet and m always thre to smile. Does that make me a saddist.....i hope so.
6. Once loved wit my whole being then was bitch slapped by reality and had to put brakes on it. Still afraid to take that leap
7. Always guarded my reputation wit my whole bein which made me live by so many self imposed rules and it was only the last 6 months of the previous year that i dared to throw caution to the wind, jump without that rope on my feet, see anotha side to life.....let the inner me that in bondage loose and i loved it!! Every bit of it tho it came to a screeching halt and i had to snap back to reality.
8. I love to dance. Don't do it as often as i would want to but wen i do i do.
9.Music stole my soul. Its not as deep as i make it sound but its seen me thru so much cos there's a song to describe wateve emotion it is u feel its jus up to u to find it. I listen to alot of soft rock the likes of lifehouse, keane, travis, old coldplay, goo goo dolls... tho of late my playlist has been deemed depressin bordering on suicidal but then again we all have opinions right??
10.I donot like bright places especially at night, nothin shady maybe its jus an eye defect...tihihi
11.Lord help me reach 25...... I am a sucker for scents, be it colognes, perfumes shower gels.....sucker sucker sucker.
12. I am a woman that loves her food yet all that seems to expand on me atleast of late are my ear lobes i wonder y...... i am a curious eater not in terms of new food but eatin places. I can spend the last shilling on me on good food.....especially wen m low.
13. Always looking for new ways to make money cos poverty n i r not goin down without a fight.
14. I am the biggest impulsive buyer i know which doesn't translate into splashin vulgar amounts of money cos i am a smooth bargain shopper if i say so myself.....bargain to a point of receivin an extra item jus for u to go away or stop talkin.
15.There is not a single sport i engage in tho wish i could change that....oh said no regretrs. Is it too late to become a pro baller???
16. I talk in my sleep and as i have been told it can be a lengthy conversation that at times sounds like a lecture tho one time i was asking for some chic's account number.....strange!!!
17. I hate for people to see my weaknesses maybe thats why i fight back tears like m fighting a tax increase
18. i look at eveyone as a walking story, a door to a new experience, an entry into a world not yours on condition that they open that door wen u knock. Explains why i love to meet new people or why i find rides in taxis so interesting
19. I donot like weddings and parties and the only part that gets me to go is the excuse to dress up, that part i like.
20. I cannot sing to save my life tho m still convinced there's talent deep down somewhere tho it s provin to be deeper than i thought
21. My biggest phobia is the dentist's chair.....cant explain any further.
22. I am painfully a morning person it can be annoying. I hate wednesdays tho cos i find it such an undecided day
23.I am addicted to my phone one wud think i am havin an affair wit it. That said wudn't advise anyone to beep cos its always in my palm
24.I neva picture my wedding day. I always want to wake up married unlike some friends of mine who already have it down to the last detail. Wish it didn't have to be such a hustle and cud be small and intimate but thats a trick wen yo related to like half the country by virtue of the fact that even yo grand parents neighbours came to be known as uncles and their kids as cousins.
25.Finally! I love to sew. i do it wen m happy, sad, bored, confused....i simply love to sew. For those that know me it wud seem so unlike me but then again i already said m often misread
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